I received a lot of complaints that people couldn't see this video. Here it is in Google format...
(I blame this on Apple Computers. They apparently are a cult bent on making sure the world swear allegiance to their platform. Meanwhile Microsoft stole my idea and created a new video network...hmmm. I'm going to be using Google for now on. They only share my information between their datacenters and the government.)
Now to the serious stuff. I went to the Mayor's office via convoy sponsored by Round the Clock Realty. They're currently working on an emergency broadcast system for the Internet and have donated a "Web Presence" to the Branson Salvation Army. A video will be released tomorrow. Back to the story, I then proceeded to the Hollister Chamber of Commerce....Once again...Nobody home.
It felt like the Western's of old. I was coming to threaten a kindness contest. They knew I was coming and hid to leave tumbleweeds.
As you can imagine I was feeling like quite "the man" until I ran into a threatning gang of brightly dressed women. The gang leader, aka Mary Ann Raemisch Grand Duchess of the Dazzlin' Darlins' of Dane County, made some vicious statements about the techno illiterate and demanded that I download her pictures, which I did, to avoid being mugged.
After trading hacks with the "Duchess", I was told to give up ownership of a Website dedicated to Branson History. Her no nonsense attitude and threatening gang apparel led me to believe I best not take my chances and granted her the title of Queen Webmaster BransonHistory.com. She can be reached at {Maryarae@chorus.net }. Word to the wise, be careful. In fact, I recommend sending snail mail to 644 Eiserman Ave. Branson, MO 65616.(Just to be safe). After acquiring video intel from the Branson engineering department on the new Skyway, {Video available tomorrow} I met Fire Chief Carl Sparks to continue dialogue about the upcoming aforementioned Internet Emergency Broadcast System. Dialogue proceeded with Captain Ron Key at Salvation Army headquarters, once again, video to follow.
After talking to the city GIS department about the necessity of a purple route I was referred to another engineer. The conversation was unenlightening as for some reason the engineer expressed no interest in helping me whatsoever with the MLS mapping system that I will inevitably create. Once again, my inability to communicate intentions of brotherhood were in vain. Engineers are the bullies of the 21st century.
After confirming my employer's media buy I remembered Western Taney County Commissioner Ron Herchend's statement, "I'm not a politician". In a panic I went to the YMCA and demanded staff verification of political leader's claims of weight loss as I pledged a dollar for each pound they lose (close call). The staff member had no appreciation for my sense of humor which gave me a much needed chuckle. Though, no numbers have been verified, the front desk clerk was adamant I address the health fitness advisor to acquire "top secret" information. What happened to the good old days when you could just slide a 20 across the desk? I didn't leave empty handed as I retrieved several photo's of the YMCA facility.
My exhaustion was catching up with me. I went to Starbuck and pounded three cups of dark roast coffee while thanking Microsoft PR superstar Scooble for asking Bill Gates some very serious questions that I demanded answers to months ago. I also thanked him for condemning anti-democratic practices in China. Once again, this was months due, though, I'm grateful that Scooble admitted I was right and Microsoft was wrong. Thanks dude for helping me stick it to the man. Did I say man? My boss is a woman...hmmm.
Between sending technical specs to the "Woman's" full time engineer I watch a video feed of Bill Gates pitching the gospel of Microsoft near our employee's office three block away from our facility in Hyberdad, India. That snake! Maybe we're better off working for the Woman.
Suddenly, out of the corner of my eye I spot a local out of uniform. Though enraged, I politely explain to the gentleman, picture below that using blue tooth may key tourists in that we actually have running water here in Branson, Missouri. Can you imagine this guy blowing our cover and ruining the entire tourist market for all of us? Thankfully, he acted with great speed in concealing all gadgetry inside of his overalls. But first he offered his services as a Frank Sinatra impersonater (Video Not Included).
After my third pot of coffee, I surrender to my heart and write a post in a local online community to a local Netizen who is having a real hard time living here.
My hands ache from typing, the technical specs are being requested from Hyderabad, all the video I promised isn't quite up yet and I ponder something my father told me when I was a child. "Remember Who You Are" and it's no longer a wonder why a man as poor as I could feel so very rich.
